It is common practice to wake up and check your phone first thing in the morning and then use your phone during breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Then before bed, we are often scrolling our phones once again. Phones have become part of our daily routines but what is it about them that makes us love them so? Why do phones think feel so important and hard to ignore? I will take you through some psychological insights and basic concepts to think about as we go on a journey to discover this for ourselves.
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Phones Enable Connection
Feeling connected is something humans need to survive. Talking to people makes us feel happy as social interaction is an innate human trait. The use of mobile phones enables us to support that behavior by allowing us to connect to almost anyone instantly with a tap of a finger. We can connect to family members who may be many miles away via video chat. Even just ‘liking’ someone’s post evokes a little laugh or smile, and this simplicity builds our sense of self and sense of belonging.
Phones Supply Instant Gratification (Rewards)
According to various studies, humans are insatiable in their pursuit of “rewards.” More importantly, humans have been trained to seek “instant” gratification and rewards as fast rewards create positive states of significant pleasure and excitement for us. Luckily for us, mobile phones provide us with instant rewards. Phones consistently send us notifications, messages, and new content on a minute-by-minute basis. Each of these notifications supplies us with a small punch of instant gratification and a good feeling. Therefore, the simple act of checking your phone brings the brain immediate happiness. What is very interesting about instant rewards is they “reinforce” a behavior, where the person continues to repeat the behavior on an endless loop.
Phones Provide Unlimited Entertainment
Sometimes we experience boredom. Sometimes we feel stressed. Phones are a great escape. We can watch funny videos, play games, and read the news. We can scroll through pictures of beautiful things. These all make us feel calm. They make us forget our troubles, even for just a moment. So when life feels like it is too tough, we go for our phones. It is the quickest way to make ourselves feel better.
We Want to Stay Informed
Almost nobody wants to feel left out; we want to know what is happening around us. Phones provide us up to the second update. News apps provide us with breaking news, social media give us a sneak peek into our friends’ lives, and messaging apps provide us with fast updates. This all gives us a sense of information control. It helps us feel informed and connected.
Everyone wants social approval
We all want to be likable. Phones allow us to display information about our lives online. People can react to what we share. A like, a comment, or a heart feels good! It communicates to us, “You matter.” It gives us a feeling of approval. Psychologists refer to this as, “social validation.” It is an important factor as to why we use our phones.
Mobile Phones Simplify Life
Mobile phones help us with a lot. We can order food from one app. We can book rides, flights, and hotels all from one place. Also, we can no longer even bring a map—GPS can get us anywhere. Paying bills is easier too. This convenience is what makes mobile phones valuable, they are so helpful and save time and effort every day.
We Customize Our Phone
It is amazing how personal our mobile phones are. They are like little worlds of our own. We choose the wallpaper and download our favorite apps. We add our music, photos, and notes. This is what makes a phone so personal. We create emotional bonds with our phones. It can feel like our phone knows us. It represents our style and habits. Also, it can be a hard thing to leave when we are away from it.
We Use Mobile Phones to Avoid Awkwardness
Have you ever felt very alone, in a big crowd? Maybe at a party or on the bus? Mobile phones help us procrastinate awkward feelings. If we stare at our screens it makes us look busy and complacent, allowing us to escape feeling out of place. This turns away the gaze, and we refocus our attention, avoiding feeling stuck in a moment. This form of comfort makes our mobile phone a safe space. We can feel exposed using our mobile phones.
They give us a sense of control
Occasionally, life can feel out of control, and phones can assist in feeling more in control. Phones have alarms, notes, and goals that we can track and keep organized. Apps are great for planning tasks as well as remembering things. They also give us daily routines and structure. The feeling of control is associated with a reduction in stress and confusion. We are happier when we feel in control. Phones help us access that feeling of control.
FOMO makes it difficult to stop
FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) is one of the largest reasons why we can not take our eyes off the screen. We can be uncomfortable due to missing a message. We worry someone posted something. Also, we fear missing the next trending topic. Those fears cause us to go “back” to check again, then again. So it makes it much more difficult to put phones down.
Phones help decrease feelings of loneliness
Loneliness can be excruciating in many ways. Phones help decrease feelings of loneliness. We can be a participant in online groups and chats. We can connect with a community of others who like the same activities as us. While sitting at home alone, we can be part of something. That sense of emotional comfort can be huge. It makes phones feel like friends.
We View Phones as Multiple Mirrors
We commonly find ourselves seeking answers online. Frequently, we may ask Google about our challenges. Reading articles and watching videos are common suggestions to help address these problems. In this sense, phones become a mirror. Phones echo our feelings. Phones express the hopes and fears we wish we did not share with them. This relationship feels intimate and real. Therefore, we look to phones for advice.
Phones Establish a Daily Habit
Every habit begins with an infinitesimal act. We do something once. Then we do it every single day. Eventually, we have a habit. Phones have become one of those habits. We check our phones immediately after we wake up. We scroll through our phones while we eat. Even more, we sleep with phones beside us. Because we do this every day, phones are routine. Once we have established this habit, breaking it becomes difficult.
Are phones good all the time?
No. Too much screen time can cause other issues. It can affect people’s sleep, concentration, and their relationships with the world. Using a phone at mealtime makes it harder to bond. Checking phones before bedtime affects sleep. Relying on phones too much can impact mental health. So, phones can be useful tools, but we need to use them smartly, and mindfully, and maintain balance.
How can we use our phones mindfully?
We do not have to eliminate phone use. We just need to be mindful of how we use them. Here are some examples:
Take breaks every few hours.
Turn off notifications that aren’t important.
Don’t look at a screen before going to bed.
Spend more time talking to someone in person.
Make some moments phone-free.
When we do this, we reclaim power from our distracted minds and make space for actual life to unfold.
