Introduction
The ego serves as a silent perpetrator, existing behind our thoughts, pride, and fear, keeping us trapped silently in harmful loops of our minds. Although, we often feel like we are stuck, and not always see the real reason. It is constantly whispering lies in order to keep itself safe and builds pseudo identities inside us. This quiet voice is referred to as nafs in Islam. In fact, God orders us to purify the nafs. In Surah Ash-Shams (91:9), “Indeed, he succeeds who purifies it.” And now we will look at the ten ways the ego traps us and keeps us from our true self.
1. You Are Always Right—game:
The ego enjoys feeling superior and convinces you that you’re always right. It even pushes you to claim you’re right when you make a mistake. This all blocks your growth as a person and closes your mind. You now begin to defend, rather than reflect and change. This is something that Islam teaches is not true strength. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, “No one humbles himself for Allah except that Allah raises him.”5 (Muslim). Progress always begins when we say we don’t know everything.
2. They Are the Problem—game:
This is the blame and excuse game. The ego knows that it must say, “You are innocent; they are wrong.” When we live in this mindset, we no longer want to claim responsibility for our part. What grows, in your heart, is anger, negativity, and bitterness. Islam, however, teaches that you can’t change without starting with the things that YOU can change. For example, in Surah Ar-Ra’d (13:11) we read, “Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves…” Ownership is healing; ownership is the pathway to change.
Read More: Healing with the 99 Names of Almighty
3. “What Will People Say?” Game
Your fear of what people think is quietly ruling your life. Your ego says, “They will laugh at you,” so you live for people and not for truth; you become a slave to their approval. Islam tells you to seek Allah’s pleasure, not the pleasure of the world. The Prophet ﷺ said: “Whoever seeks Allah’s pleasure, even if people dislike it, will have Allah’s pleasure” (Tirmidhi). Freedom starts when you stop living for the approval of others.
4. “You must be perfect” Game
This game is heavy with pressure and fear. The ego says, “You must always accomplish.” As soon as you make mistakes, the ego shames you, and your fear of failure is so great that it often stops you from trying. However, Islam does not teach perfection; Allah loves effort. In Surah Al-Zumar (39:53), Allah says, “Do not, despair of Allah’s mercy.” Your faults don’t define your failure, they define your way of humility and closeness to Allah.
5. The “Don’t Forgive Them” Game
Anger and revenge are part of the ego. It whispers, “They don’t deserve your forgiveness.” But that only hurts your own heart, and is a burden to carry in your own life. Islam teaches that forgiveness frees both souls. The Prophet ﷺ said, “Forgive others, and Allah will forgive you.” (Ahmad) Forgiveness is not weakness – it is your path back to emotional peace and freedom of soul.
6. The “Stay in Your Comfort Zone” Game
This mind game quietly sabotages your efforts for growth and improvement. The ego says, “Stay safe, and avoid discomfort.” As a result, you avoid your new paths, healing and personal change. But Allah has taught us as part of our faith that courage comes with conviction – Prophet Ibrahim عليه السلام walked into a fire because he relied on the truth of Allah. Those who dare to grow will leave their comfort zone and even though it may hurt, the voyage inevitably carries with it abundant blessings.
7. The “You Are Your Past” Game
The ego keeps you holding onto past wounds, saying “You’ll never change.” In essence, this weighs your heart down with shame. The beautiful thing is that Allah always keeps the door of mercy open. In Surah Al-Furqan (25:70), Allah mentions that “He will replace the bad with the good.” Your past is not a prison. It is a lesson to guide your future. Let it refine you, as opposed to define you.
8. The “Compare Yourself to Others” Game
The ego loves to compare. It tells you, “They are better, more successful, or more loved.” These thoughts produce envy and sadness. In today’s world this has gotten worse due to social media. But, Islam tells you to look at those below you in worldly matters. The Prophet ﷺ said “Look to those below you, not to those above you” (Bukhari). Allah made your journey exceptional. You don’t have to copy anyone to be of value.
9. “Keep It Inside” Activity
This activity teaches you to hide your emotions. The ego says, “DON’T show weakness!” But you MUST. When you are silent, this silence turns to deep inner pain. Keeping everything inside brings about anxiety and loneliness. The Prophet ﷺ was open about his pain and cried during his grief. He explained his pain TO Allah. Surah Al-Inshirah (94:5) says, “Indeed, with hardship comes ease.” Sharing your truth is your first step towards peace.
10. “You Don’t Deserve Love” Activity
This is one of ego’s darkest tricks. The voice says, “You are not enough to be loved.” Literally no truth to that. Allah’s love for you has nothing to do with your past or status. In Surah Al-Baqarah (2:286) it says “Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear.” Moments like these sound cliché but you are SO loved by your Creator. Don’t let ego take away your worth.
Real-Life Islamic Case Study #1: Umar Ibn Al-Khattab رضي الله عنه
Prior to entering Islam, Umar was arrogant. He had great intensity and was tough. He set out to kill the Prophet ﷺ, once on Kh’aar at the time, with the role of a soldier. Islam changed him completely. He became soft, wise, and humble. And He would cry in prayer. He would fear Allah immensely that he once said “if a mule (donkey) tripped on a road, I fear Allah will ask me why I didn’t fix the road!” This is a man who one hundred percent surrendered his ego for the purpose of having true power.
Real-Life Islamic Case Study #2: Prophet Yusuf عليه السلام
Yusuf عليه السلام suffered deeply, when his brothers betrayed him, sold him into slavery, and later locked him up and forgotten. When he later met his brothers again, he forgave them: “no blame will there be upon you today” (Qur’an 12:92). He was guided by reason not by ego or anger, and still raised his class, and placed true honor in his heart to be honorably forged by Allah. This is why he chose forgiveness rather than blaming them.
Conclusion: As Taqwa, break with the ego.
The ego, often dark, can only survive in darkness – taqwa allows a bright light into the soul. Surah Al-Hashr (59:19) states, “And do not be like those who forgot Allah, so He made them forget themselves.” Forget Allah and you forget yourself. Remember Allah, and you remember your fitrah. You will often find yourself asking, “Am I listening to my ego or my soul?” Choose surrender over control. Choose truth over pride. Only then will your ego-free heart find eternal peace. Healing begins from within; through Allah, not the ego.
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