Do you also feel a bit drained when you leave with certain people? Do you feel less than joyful after spending time with some individuals? Are you finding that you are sensing their sadness, anger, and stress deeply? If so, you may not be weak; you are likely just sensitive. So, the truth is, many people absorb their environment’s energy without realizing it, especially negative energy. Negative energy drains your spirit and fogs your heart. So how can you set boundaries around this? Let’s take it step by step.
Identify if you are an emotional sponge
First, we need to understand if you are an emotional sponge. Do you leave conversations more anxious or moody? Do you feel good in a crowd or worse depending on the crowd? If you feel differently and know your feelings change, there is a good chance you are an emotional sponge. Empathy, for example, feels deeply. They can often walk away feeling emotions that are not even theirs. It is important to recognize what emotions are yours, and what are not.
Establishing Healthy Emotional Boundaries
Boundaries shield your peace; without them, your internal world is harmed. You can still be nice and say no. You should avoid gossip, unnecessary negative conversations, and people who complain all the time. Protecting your heart and mind is not selfish; it is treating yourself smart. Allah reminds us in the Quran:
“Do not follow what you do not know. Indeed, the heart will be questioned.”
(Surah Al-Isra 17:36)
Read more: Nurturing Minds: Early Childhood Education
Don’t Take It Personally
People express their pain. Their rudeness can be indicative of their pain and not necessarily about you. A lot of the time, people are projecting their feelings of sadness and anger onto you, and this is the stress that you’re carrying when you shouldn’t. “Emotional projection” is how psychologists explain this phenomenon. Imagine the pain as a ball; you do not want to catch it. You want to let the people express the pain and let it drop to the ground.
Make it a Habit to Clear Your Mental Space regularly
You collect emotions, thoughts, and memories in your mind every day. You can shed those emotions through journaling or prayer. Find a quiet spot. Be alone and express intentions internally. Let your tears fall in front of Allah, as He listens when no one else does. The Prophet ﷺ taught us:
“In the body there is a piece of flesh… if it is sound, then the whole body is sound… that is the heart.”
(Bukhari& Muslim)
Visualize yourself inside a light shield.
Think of light all around your body and how it represents a bubble-like shield around you. This shield pushes negative energy away from yourself. Whether you know it or not, your brain will believe what you visualize. Visualization is not magic, but rather a form of mental training. Islam teaches us not just to pray, but the concept of muraqabah; the act of caring for our soul, to keep it in constant awareness. Stay vigilant, attentive.
Choose the Right Company
You can’t avoid people, but you can choose who you spend time with. Choose kindness and peace! The Prophet ﷺ surrounded himself with wise companions who were soft-hearted. He said:
“A good friend is like the one who sells perfume, either you get some perfume or you enjoy its pleasant smell.”
(Bukhari)
Choose friends who smell of peace.
Build Spiritual Immunity
Just as your body has to fight germs, your soul has to fight negativity, and while there are plenty of physical things to aid it (food, exercise, vitamins), the Quran, dhikr, and prayer are how our soul gains strength. When you have a firm connection to Allah SWT, nothing can shake your connection to peace and calm, even when the downpour around you. The Quran says:
“Indeed, Allah is with the mindful.”
(Surah An-Nahl 16:128)
Let this be your protection.
Stop Trying to Save Everyone
Most empaths feel the need to fix everyone, but that’s not your responsibility. You’re not the healer — Allah is. You can care, but don’t carry. If someone is drowning and you jump in, you both will sink. Offer help, but not your soul. That’s wisdom.
Pay Attention When You’re Being Drained
Your body will tell you first. Are you tired after certain interactions? Do your shoulders feel heavy? Those are indicators of energy leak. Take time to rest. Take deep breaths. Walk in nature. You don’t need to ask permission to protect yourself.
Make Grounding a Daily Practice
Feel your feet on the ground. Walk barefoot if you can. Feel your breath. Say calming affirmations: “I am safe. I am home.” Even wudhu can be a grounding practice. It cools your soul and rejuvenates your energy. Islam does a beautiful job connecting the body and the soul.
Safeguard Yourself with Duas
The Prophet ﷺ taught us a dua to protect our hearts. Say:
“Oh, Turner of hearts, keep my heart firm upon your path.”
Also say:
“I seek refuge in you from an evil soul and bad company.”
Words are more than sound. They bring divine protection.
Identify Your Energy Thieves
Some people don’t mean to harm anything, but they sap your energy. They talk too much, complain too much, or gossip too much. It’s a psych term called emotional vampires. Just be courteous and stay frayed. This isn’t being unkind. This is emotionally wise.
Read more: Building an Inner World of Peace, Not Chaos
Maintain a High Vibration
You do not have to resonate with the energy of every space you walk into. If someone seems sad, you can maintain your sense of hope. If someone is angry, you can remain calm. This is Ihsaan—excellence in behavior. Let your light shine for others. Do not let their darkness dim you.
Accept You Can’t Control Others
You are not responsible for the actions of every person. You cannot heal every soul. Also, you can guide someone when the opportunity arises. But you cannot force change. Allah says:
“And you are not over them as a controller.”
(Surah Al-Ghashiyah 88:22)
You do what is obligatory for you, and leave the results to Allah.
Heal Your Pain
There are times when we pick up other people’s pain, and we have absorbed their pain because we have not healed ourselves. Pain attracts pain. You need to go inward. Reflect, forgive, and seek the help you may need. So, to heal is an obligation. The Qur’an says:
“Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is within themselves.”
(Surah Ar-Ra’d 13:11)
Final Reflections
You are not the trash can for humanity’s feelings. You are light. Also, you are a soul. You are precious. Treat your energy and emotions like gold and protect them like treasure. The more you guard it, the more you connect with Allah, and the more the light. Stay grounded. Stay glowing.And, stay guarded.
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