Learn the 12 everyday behaviors that quietly reveal hidden insecurities and how understanding them can lead to personal growth and confidence. Let’s explore a dozen human behaviors that might reveal insecurities hidden within. Here are some very interesting psychological facts:
Read more: 7 SILENT SIGNS YOU ARE IN SURVIVAL MODE
Apologizing Too Much
Apologizing for something you didn’t do means that you’re showing that you don’t feel enough. Some people feel like they lack self-confidence, often take it as far as to feel like a bother or doing something wrong, a lot of the time when they aren’t! Quote- “You are not a problem to fix, you are a person to love”. Unknown.
Wanting Constant Approval
Do you often find yourself asking questions such as “Is this acceptable?” or “What do you think?”. If you are constantly doing this, then this is a definite sign of low self-trust. Insecure individuals seek out validation from individuals around them to satisfy their self-esteem.
Psych facts: According to a study published in 2018, individuals with higher self-esteem check their phones for likes 50% less frequently than individuals with lower self-esteem.
Feeling That You Don’t Measure Up
People who tend to struggle with an insecure mindset often look at someone’s life on social media and say, “I will never be like that.”
Fun fact: The Royal Society for Public Health study found Instagram to be the worst app for mental health related to use by young people.
Making Fun of Yourself (even as a joke)
Making fun of yourself may just be intended as lightheartedness, but the more you do it, it is normally camouflaging someone with low self-esteem. It is a way of saying it yourself, before someone else does, and to be afraid of it being said.
Quote: “Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.” – Brené Brown
Not Making Eye Contact
Insecure people may have a hard time making eye contact. They feel exposed, or they feel as though you are judging them. They are aware that eye contact is an act of confidence – something workers in insecurity often escape.
Bragging or Showing Off Too Much
Being overconfident can sometimes indicate an underlying insecurity. Individuals who repeatedly mention or show off about their money, body, or achievements may be overcompensating.
Psychological Tip: This refers to as “narcissistic compensation“, which is a psychological mask that we wear to protect ourselves from our fear of not being enough.
People-Pleasing
When you say “yes” when you wanted to say “no,” this is a major indicator of insecurity. So, you are using others’ approval to feel safe and accepted.
Stat: Psychology Today reports that approximately 65% of people experience people-pleasing with regularity throughout their lives.
Defensive toward Feedback
When someone experiences a drop in self-worth, then everything (including polite feedback) feels threatening, and they may not only respond in anger but also feel compelled to justify every action they take.
Avoiding new ventures
The fear of failure or the fear of rejection will keep the most insecure person in their warm, cozy space where they feel safe enough not to be judged. So they avoid awful feelings of judgment by not trying anything new.
Case Study:
Rani was twenty-six years old and was simply a marketing assistant, but had dreams of advancing her role. Her manager offered Rani some constructive criticism on how she could be better at her job, and Rani’s fight-or-flight response kicked in. Rani felt personally attacked and defensive towards her manager. Rani, with her therapist, began to unpack her response to her manager’s constructive feedback, and the therapist recognized she was, in certain fundamental ways,>
Returning to memories from childhood, when she was being punished for making mistakes. Once Rani worked through her childhood incompatibilities, she understood that rather than feeling threatened by feedback, she could continue to work on her defensive response to accepting feedback from her manager.
Overthinking
Insecurity drives people to relive conversations in their heads: “Did I sound weird?”, “Were they upset when I walked away?”, or “did they think I was rude?” Overthinking becomes a full-time job.
Stat: It is estimated through the National Science Foundation that the average person has approximately 12,000-60,000 thoughts a day, all of which average 80% negative for low self-esteem individuals.
Social Media Addiction
An insecure person may seek out frequent affirmation through selfish, checking likes, or endless scrolling. Hence,they aren’t at peace with themselves, so they need to chase external validation.
Interesting Fact: The ESSENTIAL social media study conducted by the University of Pennsylvania found widespread evidence to demonstrate that limiting social media use reduced anxiety, while also improving self-image.
Fostering a Victim Mindset
A subgroup of insecure people or insecure leaders consciously (or unconsciously) assume the victim mentality. Victim mentality produces thoughts to the effect of “other people are up against me” or “they never support me”, or “I always get treated unfairly”.
Motivating Reminder
Everyone has insecurities — even the most successful people. The real question is, how do we use them?
Quote: “Confidence isn’t thinking that you’re better than everyone else. It’s not having to compare yourself at all.” – Unknown.
The struggle is real.
Insecurities are not insecurities just because they stem from weakness. They may come from past childhood trauma, bullying, rejection, or some other crisis or pressure from a parent or guardian within the home.
Fact to Consider: So, according to a press release from the American Psychological Association, approximately sixty percent of adults have some sort of daily self-esteem issue related to previous experiences.
Conclusion: You Are Not Alone
These small behaviors may seem harmless, but they reveal so much about how we see ourselves as human beings. If you recognized any or some of these in your daily life, that is perfectly fine. No one is perfect; this is simply humanity.
Each time you choose to show yourself kindness, you make a choice, say NO to something that doesn’t feel right, you are building a little bit of security in yourself. So, that is the same kind of quiet strength that creates change!
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