Do you know, every human yearns for the truth? Yet many individuals exist in a false self. This self is rooted in fear and pain, so desires to please others. It suppresses our true nature, which is our fitrah or soul that has remained untouched since Allah created us. To live with peace, we must discover all parts of who we really are. Let us examine 10 steps to begin disconnecting from this false mask to discover our internal truth.
1. Identify the false self-inside of you
The false self is one that always seeks validation. It is always telling you, “You are not enough”. It is constantly consumed by rejection, failure, and silence. But the Qur’an reminds us in Surah Al-Hashr (59:19), “And do not be like those who forgot Allah, so He made them forget themselves.” This ayah tells us that forgetting Allah made them forget who they really are. The first step towards being free is to identify this false voice in you.
2. Watch and See Without Judgment
Start watching your thoughts. Notice how you react out of fear, not truth. Don’t judge – it just notice. This practice develops inner awareness. Psychologists call it “mindful awareness.” With mindful awareness you start to see you are not your thoughts. You are the watcher of your thoughts in silence. This is where the distinction begins, simply watching and not reacting.
3. Welcome Silence and Solitude
In silence you uncover your real self. The false self-fears silence. It hides behind noise and distractions. It is only in stillness that truth is revealed. So, too, even did the Prophet ﷺ retreat to the cave of Hira and experience silence. It is in solitude that you connect with Allah. In your solitude, your heart gets clearer. You reach your fit rah when the world quiets down.
4. Release Roles and Labels
You are not your job, title, or relationship. These are roles, not your real identity. You existed before, and you will exist after. Consider, “Who am I, without these labels?” Let your identity come from your soul, not from the world. Say, “Ya Allah, show me who I am, in your sight.”
5. Question Your Internal Narration
Many of the thoughts you believe to be true are not yours. These are echoes from your parents, your teachers, or even from society. Psychology refers to these as internalized beliefs, and they make your false self-possible. The next time you hear a negative thought, ask yourself: Is this voice gracious? Is it true? Does it lead me closer to Allah? Fill the lies with truth. Say: “Allah created me with value and intent.”
6. Heal Your Emotional Wounds
The false self is rooted wounds. Perhaps you experienced rejection, perhaps criticism and doubt, perhaps you have been ignored. These wounds have formed your possible self-perception. But you are not your pain. You are the one to heal your pain. Like the Prophet ﷺ with deep grief while connected with Allah, you can rise through prayer, dua and contemplation.
7. Be Radically Honest
Be honest with yourself as much as possible. Stop pretending and speak your truth no matter how scary. Islam speaks HIGHLY of honesty; indeed Allah loves people that are truthful. In psychology honesty is thought to be a significant component of healing and peace. The more real you can be the more free you can be. The false self believes and hides behind lies; the real self-lives in truth.
8. Give priority to your inner values as opposed to outer image
Read more: Daily Micro-Shifts to Change Your Life
Live not for approval. Live not for recognition. Be honest. Don’t show. The Prophet ﷺ lived for inner deep values. He never lived for the people. Live sincerely. Ask yourself, “What kind of heart do I want?” Choose humility with purpose and meaning. That is the place of power.
9. Surrender to Allah’s control
The false-self wants to control everything. But control is an illusion. Peace is an act of surrender. Instead say, “Ya Allah, I put my trust in you.” Let go what you cannot hold. Allah is Al-Wakeel, the best caretaker. Let go and meet calm. Your heart softens. Your trust expands. You can finally breathe.
10. Go Back to You Fitri Self
Your fit rah is what your true self is. It is soft, pure, and created for Allah. Your false self is strong and grasps onto fear. You can return into your fit rah, your loving, natural state once again, through dhikr, prayer, and reflection. Allah says in Surah Ash-Shams (91:9), “It is the one who purifies his soul who has been successful.” So purify your soul and let go of the layers of yourself you only thought were you.
Islamic Real-Life Case Study: Umar ibn Al-Khattab (RA)
Umar (RA) lived with pride and power before Islam. His false self was strong and feared. However, after Islam, Umar’s heart was transformed. He became soft, humble, and truthful. He detached from the ego and surrendered to Allah. Once he said, “The strongest person, from among you, is the one who controls himself while angry.” This is healed self-speaking. Umar’s story shows how going back to Allah regenerates your inner world.
Psychology Wisdom: Carl Jung’s Shadow concept
Carl Jung wrote about the shadow, the part of ourselves that we hide and furthermore reject. Islam speaks of nafs al-ammarah, the self that commands evil. Psychology teaches that healing occurs when we activate the shadow. And Islam teaches us to purify it. The act of accepting and understanding the hidden parts of yourself makes you whole. You step into your authentic power.
Final Thoughts
The false self may have kept you alive. But, it also limits your growth. It keeps you frozen in fear and performing. You are not designed to live someone else’s story. You are designed to live in truth. Remove your mask. Say Bismillah, and step into your authentic self. When you lose your false self, you will find peace. And when you find your authentic self, you find Allah.
Leave a Reply